Laments of neophyte desert dweller

I knew there would be regrets when I moved to rural life in Arizona, but I am still having a hard time adjusting.....

*Not having a rhubarb plant…I miss homemade rhubarb custard pie in the spring…

*Ditto - fresh picked asparagus

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  A daily paper delivered to my door


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  The regrettable exercise of driving my car 100 miles to get sushi


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  Should have invested in Johnson and Johnson-I have never seen so much dust.


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  Scarcity of animal assistance groups in rural area-I guess it is the Old West-people out here forget animalss are human!!!


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  Mojaves and diamondbacks-Snakes not on a plane…..but should be and get the hell off my property....


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  Scorpions and brown recluse- ok I must admit I almost ever see these guys-but I know they are out there...


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  Speeding ticket on 191 near Safford-so if everyone gets fined there-why didn't anyone tell me?


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  Sneaky emissions from power plants-you wouldn't know unless you get up early


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  Tarantula hawks …the name is scary enough-get the idea


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  No holly jolly feelings in December-


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  Hunter harassment laws-don’t get me started on this one-$300 for defending our property


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  Fish and game -no more Macho-B…Ken Salazar come and kick these assholes butts-


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  …available signs-adopt a highway please


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  Temperatures over 94 degrees…really it is a dry heat until it hits 95. Then it is too damn hot!


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  Long lines at Safeway Pharmacy……Walgreens? CVS? -you could make a fortune here.


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  Dairy Queen addiction……having lived 20 years without a DQ I am making up for lost time…chocolate truffle Blizzard anyone?


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  Antiquated meeting formalities which waste time…uh excuse me…what is the point of this protocol?


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  Abandoned dogs in Bowie-please contact Best Friend Animal Shelter Kanab, Utah..maybe they can do something, or if you have any extra money..it goes for abandoned ad abused animals all over.


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  Bees, honeybees, yellow jackets, bumble..killer…You can hear them humming the theme from the Godfather as they pass overhead


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  Cows on the road-it’s a Bar-B-Q- tonight….I’ll bring the beef…


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  Canyon wrens disguising themselves as chattering monkeys in the early a.m.
  
  fights over shady parking spots


• burning trash in barrels-uh are you reading this John?
• Mail delivery four miles away
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  Here comes the monsoons, there goes the road!!!