Saturday, May 16, 2009

Laments of neophyte desert dweller

I knew there would be regrets when I moved to rural life in Arizona, but I am still having a hard time adjusting.....

*Not having a rhubarb plant…I miss homemade rhubarb custard pie in the spring…

*Ditto - fresh picked asparagus

  • A daily paper delivered to my door

  • The regrettable exercise of driving my car 100 miles to get sushi

  • Should have invested in Johnson and Johnson-I have never seen so much dust.

  • Scarcity of animal assistance groups in rural area-I guess it is the Old West-people out here forget animalss are human!!!

  • Mojaves and diamondbacks-Snakes not on a plane…..but should be and get the hell off my property....

  • Scorpions and brown recluse- ok I must admit I almost ever see these guys-but I know they are out there...

  • Speeding ticket on 191 near Safford-so if everyone gets fined there-why didn't anyone tell me?

  • Sneaky emissions from power plants-you wouldn't know unless you get up early

  • Tarantula hawks …the name is scary enough-get the idea

  • No holly jolly feelings in December-

  • Hunter harassment laws-don’t get me started on this one-$300 for defending our property

  • Fish and game -no more Macho-B…Ken Salazar come and kick these assholes butts-

  • …available signs-adopt a highway please

  • Temperatures over 94 degrees…really it is a dry heat until it hits 95. Then it is too damn hot!

  • Long lines at Safeway Pharmacy……Walgreens? CVS? -you could make a fortune here.

  • Dairy Queen addiction……having lived 20 years without a DQ I am making up for lost time…chocolate truffle Blizzard anyone?

  • Antiquated meeting formalities which waste time…uh excuse me…what is the point of this protocol?

  • Abandoned dogs in Bowie-please contact Best Friend Animal Shelter Kanab, Utah..maybe they can do something, or if you have any extra goes for abandoned ad abused animals all over.

  • Bees, honeybees, yellow jackets, bumble..killer…You can hear them humming the theme from the Godfather as they pass overhead

  • Cows on the road-it’s a Bar-B-Q- tonight….I’ll bring the beef…

  • Canyon wrens disguising themselves as chattering monkeys in the early a.m.

    fights over shady parking spots

  • burning trash in barrels-uh are you reading this John?
  • Mail delivery four miles away

  • Here comes the monsoons, there goes the road!!!

1 comment:

  1. I am making rhubarb pie tonight with rhubarb from my yard! Sorry, I'll share. NBg